Friday, December 9, 2011

Eat McDonalds Guilt-Free!



Can’t stay away from fast food? While it’s preferable that you stay away from fast foods since they have more fat than homemade food, most people have a very busy schedule and they don’t always have time for cooking at home. It’s either starve yourself, which is not healthy at all, or making better choices when you have no choice but to pick up a quick meal to eat while on the run.   

I can’t always afford to eat fast food but my drastic on-the-run schedule going to school and my children’s therapies and specialists leave me no choice sometimes. I’ve discovered a way to not feel so guilty and still maintain my weight loss goals. It’s all about making healthier choices and sticking to them no matter what. It will become easier as you learn to be healthier and after time it will become a healthy habit that you won’t even have to think about when you’re on-the-run.
If you checkout McDonald’s nutrition information on their website it will give you an idea of what you are eating and how many calories you are taking in so you don’t get too carried away. Although it’s tempting to eat your favorite foods that you’re always used to, try something different and you will be surprised how quickly you will start to enjoy making healthier choices not only for you but for your family as well.
When I have to run somewhere to a doctor appointment with the kids and there is no time for making breakfast we pick up something from McDonalds. I usually pick a ham&cheese Egg Mcmuffin which has only 300 calories and about 12 grams of fat. If you want to go even healthier then you can choose the Fruit and Maple Oatmeal which has less than 300 calories and only about 5 grams of fat or the Fruit and Yogurt has only 160 calories and only 2 grams of fat. I haven’t tried it yet but I’ve heard it’s delicious.

To drink I get a small coffee with Splenda sugar which is practically 0 calories and 0 sugar or fat. On the side I get the small hash brown which is about 150 calories and 9 grams of fat. In total, my breakfast calorie intake is 450 which is not bad at all for a fast food meal. For my kids, I get the same except they have orange juice or milk to drink and I get them snack size Fruit & walnuts so they can eat that too if they are still hungry.
So you see how making simple choices like that doesn’t have to be a pain in the a**. It wasn’t always like that, I used to make very unhealthy choices before which is what I believe contributed to my past weight gain. The old me would have chosen the big breakfast with hotcakes which is over 1000 calories per meal. Yikes!!
That’s half of what we should be consuming per day and I was having that in one meal only. I’ve come a long way but my healthy journey is not over yet. I still have a lot to learn about staying healthy and of course I’m still working on my weight loss goals. 
 So now I'm ready to save the world!!! Not Really..lol but at least I'm off to a healthy great start ;)




Monday, December 5, 2011

CHRISTMAS KIDS FREESTYLE

I hope this song puts you in the spirit of Christmas and don't forget the reason for the season and the real reason we celebrate Christmas. When I heard the stories about Black Friday, I was appalled. We had people fighting over toys and electronics.

I heard a young boy was knocked out by an adult and was sent to the hospital. Seriously people!! What has the world come to? Christmas should be about rejoicing in the promise God has for his children.

All this greed and fighting over money and material things needs to stop! We need to teach our children that Christmas shouldn't just be about how many presents are under your tree. It should be about spending time with the people you love and sharing the love of God and his promises.

If you have health, a home, food, clothing, and the love of your family or friends, then non basic material things should not be a factor. If you have more than enough then be grateful but don't flaunt it. If you can help others in need then do so and God will bless you even more but being selfish and greedy during this time of year should be unacceptable. Don't forget we celebrate Christmas because of Jesus!! Hope you all have a great Christmas with your loved ones!! :D

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Cops turn Violent, NYPD drag girl across the street. #OccupyWallStreet

Why are ppl being treated like animals? And the way they are treating that child? For What? To protect Wall-Street? To protect Greedy corporations and the ELITE? What about THE PEOPLE?..this just makes me sick :( The Wrath of the Lord is coming soon against all evil&no HUMAN-MADE WEAPON or LAW ENFORCEMENT serving the EVIL will be able to stop it!!! What a bunch of sell-outs!!! The children of GOD will be protected and all EVIL will be destroyed!!!

Friday, November 4, 2011

ALIYAH VA HABLAR-Because Autism is silent but Aliyah speaks So Listen up!!!

Yesterday could of been considered our daily routine of simple procedures done at the children's hospital or any other hospital but something amazing happened and it wasn't planned. I sent off my kids to school early morning and headed out to the children's hospital with my daughter Aliyah and my dad (Aliyah's grandfather), while it was still pitch black outside. Aliyah was screaming as usual while I drove her to the hospital for over 50 miles from home. I kept trying to calm her down by saying "Aliyah its ok mija, you are only getting your teeth cleaned at the hospital and after they're done we'll get something to eat at McDonalds so you can go home and relax". She kept screaming and crying pointing her fingers to her mouth "papa papa papa". She hadn't eaten anything since yesterday but doctors orders were to not eat or drink anything before the dental procedure because she was getting general anesthesia. "It's ok mija after they're done you can eat something" but Aliyah wasn't having it, she kept screaming and even slapped my dad. "No Aliyah, that's not nice, we don't hit Welo". I couldn't help but feel sad that she was hungry and couldn't wait but I realized she had to get this done and she would be fine afterwards. Aliyah is getting better in morning schedules but when you mess with her food and breakfast prepare for war (lots of laughs).

As we arrived at the hospital Aliyah was very upset and uneasy so they immediately admitted her and started the registration process but she still had to wait because their were others ahead of her. As usual Aliyah was being very bossy even without much words. She kept pointing to her fingers and arms and making sounds and said "ira ira hey hey ira ira". She wanted the nurse to do the regular routine at the hospital to check her blood pressure and vital signs which she was getting ready to do but Aliyah wanted it to be done fast. The nurse seemed to be impressed with Aliyah and understood her pretty well. She said "ok ok we will check that in a sec ok" Aliyah with a smirk on her face made humming sounds (indicating she is happy that someone was listening to her and she was getting her way). Yeah she's the boss like that he he!!

The waiting time was making Aliyah anxious so they turned on the TV with cartoons. Aliyah didn't seem interested but as soon as they gave her some colors and coloring papers she was eager to get a hold of them. She kept looking at me with a smirk on her face and proceeded to use her crayon. I thought she was going to start coloring immediately but she kept looking switching her looks back and forth between me and the paper. I could tell she wanted me to see her. "Start coloring Aliyah all the pretty bears" I told her. she pointed to the line at the top of the paper where the name belongs "ira ira ira" "Yes Aliyah that's where you put you name" We had been working with her at home and in therapy getting her to write her name with the small dots. She was able to trace her name and any word but when it came down to writing on her own she was only able to write her first letter on her own without assistance.

As I was about to start writing her the dots for her to trace she pushed my hand away and that's where the miracle began. With such poise and certainty she started writing the letter A. I thought "well she always writes the letter A so its ok I will draw the circles for the rest of the letter" but then she started writing another letter and to my surprise it was the letter L. I just stood there gazing in amazement. My heart was pumping so fast I could hear it in the center of my ear drums and I could feel my ear was about to pop off. It wasn't that I couldn't believe she could do it its that I could not believe it was happening so fast. Her therapist had told me that she could already write her own name without assistance but I had not personally witnessed it until now.

She paused for a few seconds and turned to see if I was still looking then she continued with the third letter and so on until she wrote Aliy h. The overwhelming excitement that I was feeling was so great that it didn't matter if it wasn't perfect because this moment was perfect and in my eyes Aliyah couldn't be anything but a perfect angel from God. I looked at my dad to see if he had witnessed this miraculous moment. I had been frozen and focused in the moment that I blocked everything and everyone while it was developing. "Viste Apa Viste lo que iso Aliyah" my dad smiled "Si escribio su nombre". After the grand momentum I asked Aliyah to add the A that was missing from her name. I thought she would get upset like she normally does if she is told she didn't do something right but to my surprise she just smiled and wrote her letter A so now it spelled Aliyah.

Immediately I smothered her with mammy kisses and hugs and she gave me a high five after I asked her. I couldn't stop smiling and she couldn't stop smiling. The happiness I felt at that time surpassed any sadness that I felt the previous day and I could feel that Aliyah was happy that I saw her write her name. This moment was more than just writing her name. It represented hope, a voice for Aliyah. I could already see Aliyah writing and communicating with not only me but the world. Thoughts scattered my mind... what would she say? Will I finally get to know her thoughts? Will she stop hitting us for no reason and communicate why she is upset? Will she tell me I love you back? Will she be a writer one day or help other children with Autism? Whatever she decides to do with this new discovery it will open up a window of new possibilities and give others hope that miracles do happen in the most unexpected unparalled manner. Aliyah Va Hablar and everyone will listen up!!!

-Vane D. Lopez

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Bank of America refuses to let customers close accounts

It makes me sick that living in America people get treated this way. This doesn't just happen in Bank of America. Almost all banks make it hard for people to close their account claiming all types of excuses, but its our right to close our accounts. No one should have to force you to keep your money in the BANK. We live in AMERICA, don't we?!!


THE OCCUPY MCALLEN PROTEST HEARD SEVERAL CALLS FOR CHANGE

Monday, October 10, 2011

Letting Go


Standing strong today
Looking at the past
And its swaying ways.

The life that we held
Will no longer be the same.
Standing strong today.

The realization of a parting day.
The letting go 
And its swaying ways.

The dark nights parting ways,
The Gaining of self worth,
Standing strong today.

Knowing there's much more to gain
But with feelings of emptiness
And its swaying ways.

The love that once was, faded away,
But the heartache still alive, aching away.
The infinite death of a parting day
And Its swaying ways.

-Vane D. Lopez 

Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Beginning



It seemed like things were finally falling into place.

I was demanding respect and  I was obtaining it. 

I could still view images in my head 

So vividly as if it were just yesterday, 

But for once, hope and inner happiness embraced me,

But disbelief still burdened me,

As the scars in my heart filled me with emptiness.

Still, I saw some light underneath the darkness 

And that comforted me in a strange unusual way. 

Free At Last!!!


 -Vane D. Lopez  ;) 

Sunday, September 11, 2011

LAND OF THE FREE OR LAND OF THE ELITE?



Quiero vivir en "La Tierra De La Libertad"
Pero siempre estan deteniendome contra mi voluntad
Quiero vivir en "La Tierra De La Libertad"
Pero siempre están controlando me dormida y despierta
They wanna arrest Latinos for any reason
And force Latino Babies to go back to their parent's country
This country was made of immigrants and now they wanna stop the expansion of the population
Why? Cause they're afraid Latinos will take over this nation
The largest minority into majority
I don't know about you but hey will not stop me
For fighting for my people
This ain't no movie with a sequel
This is reality in a world full of insanity
This ain't the "Land of the Free"
Should be called "Land of The Elite"
But that's about to change
We're about to rearrange 
They want to rewrite history
We're about to write one of our own
There's too many of us It will be hard for them to control
If another revolution is the solution
There will be no confusion of the illusion
They have brainwashed us into believeing
They have always been conceiving the plot to destroy the minority
Inflation through deflation so they can buy up the majority of the countries
More money more power seems to be their goal
They blew up the twin towers so they could take control
Blamed it on the immigrants so they could spy on the innocence 
The Patriot Act was enacted
The human rights people reacted
How can "The Land Of The Free" be now "The Land of The Greed"
Our founding fathers warned us about the dangers of tyranny
Why couldn't we forsee
Now our land is in jeopardy 
But here comes our saviour or so we think
A man of color who promises change
He gives us hope promises to rearrange 
The laws with so many flaws
But after his victory 
He reveals his true identity
He does not work for The People
He works for wallstreet
His actions not his wise words to the reactions should prove reality
Seems like no one cares what is happening to their country
They're more into thechnology
"Oh put on my chip" they say "I will not resist"
"Lets track the terrorist that don't even exist"
Till this day the weapons of mass destruction are missing
We went into war when the proof wasn't even existing
The world is coming to an end
Time to stop the pretend that everything's ok
And the economy is stable
Our troops are dying everyday
Its time for us to enable the original constitution that made this country great
"The Land Of The Free" has now been filled with hate
But as long as I'm alive I will fight for our rights
Whether it be through my music, education, information Through the sites 
You will know your rights
Quiero vivir en "La Tierra De La Libertad"
Pero siempre estan deteniendome contra mi voluntad
Quiero vivir en "La Tierra De La Libertad"
Pero siempre están controlando me dormida y despierta

-Vane D. Lopez



Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Authorities Searching for 2 Gunmen in Starr County Shooting

Authorities Searching for 2 Gunmen in Starr County Shooting

Everyone has been asking "What happened in Alto Bonito, TX"?
According to local news sources, two men shot a home close to La Grulla, TX.  in starr county on Tuesday evening August 16, 2011.

Police are in search of the men but two suspects have been arrested already on the day of the shooting in Alto Bonito in starr county. Which is why many people were wondering what was up with all the Excessive cops, Border Patrols and helicopters surrounding the area! Honestly we will never know what really happened but something did happen in Alto Bonito, TX. 

Monday, August 15, 2011

Melt Hunger Away benefiting The Food Bank of the RGV

On August 27th 2011 


YoLaLa Yogurt Heaven Event to benefit The Food Bank of the RGV
is organizing A fun Filled event with ONE GOAL IN MIND.. to MELT HUNGER AWAY, one fro-yo at a time at YoLaLa Yogurt Heaven
located at 5612 N. 10th Street Ste. 300 McAllen Texas USA


15% of all the sales for the day for saturday August 27th 2011 will be going to benefit the Food Bank of the RGV. For ever $1 that is raised, 5 people in the RGV will get fed!! IT'S EASY! and DELICIOUS!
 
Please support their cause and spread the news. When people from a different country need our help we are always willing to lend a hand so lets support our people here in the The Valley and let us contribute to getting our economy back in shape. 


Food and water are essential in human survival. If more people opened their hearts and helped each other out in this country, our economy could drastically improve.


Its time to lend a helping hand during these rough times especially now that back to school is around the corner. 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

IF I WOULD OF KNOWN

It's 3 am tryna study late
missed too many days
Tryna graduate
but baby's crying cause he needs to be fed
Im feeling so tired just wanna go to bed
but I gotta keep my head straight
Tryna make it on my own all alone
Cause you were never there and you left me all alone wohhowo
You left me all alone tryna make it on my own

(Chorus)
If I would of know that by 16 I'd be grown
I would've thought things through but its too late there's nothing I can do  oooo
But keep my head up straight tyrna make it on my own all alone
Cause you were never there and you left me all alone

Raised my kids on my own like a single young mother
And I did it like no other
You started coming home late
Then I had to wait
Then you didn't come home at all
And I was wondering where my Faith
Was Going

Got my education
Got my Degree
Who would of known
That a young mother like me
Would ever make it successfully
I never let my circumstances hold me back
I've sacrificed so much and now I'm taking it back

(REPEAT CHORUS)

If I would of know that by 16 I'd be grown
I would've thought things through but its too late there's nothing I can do  oooo
But keep my head up straight tyrna make it on my own all alone
Cause you were never there and you left me all alone

You left me all alone tryna make it on my own
Wooouoo keep my head straight
Its too late
Can't go back noooo nooo nooo noo
If I would of known that by 16
I'd be groooowwn

Too be continued...

-Vane D. Lopez

16 and pregnant

Teen Mom

Thursday, July 14, 2011

VECTOR MARKETING $15/HR JOB SCAM OR NOT!!!

Dream paying job here I come!! Even though I knew this might be too good to be true and in the back of my mind I was thinking it might be a job scam, I still had an open mind and wanted to believe this job was legitimate. So here I was thinking about all the bills I was going to pay with my new found summer job.


I was so excited that I lost track of time and was running late. I called them to let them know I was on my way and they asked the manager and he said they were having another interview meeting at 5 p.m. Great!! I thought, now I can plan on what to say on my interview.


I decided to invite my brother to go with me because I still was skeptical especially since it involved selling knives...lol! You just never know what may go wrong when knives are involved even if they are kitchen knives..lol!

As soon as we arrived to the location, I recognized the place and remembered their was a hair salon located in the same rented place. There was a paper sign placed on the door that only said Vector Marketing. Me and my brother looked at each other and were speechless for a second, then I said "I guess this is the place, should we go in? " Something didn't feel right but I thought what the heck we are already here.

As we entered the door we immediately got greeted by very young receptionists. In fact, it seemed as though they were high school students or freshman college students and were dressed very casual. We were asked to fill out a form with our contact information.

My brother refused to fill out any forms even though they were not asking to sign anything. It was just a form in which you put your contact information and answered a some questions about why you would be the best candidate for working with vector marketing and your college schedule and when you would be available to work depending on your school schedule. Their were more people their that were also their for the interview.

I have never been to these type of group interviews except when I worked as a migrant farm worker when we had a meeting before we started to work. The majority of interviews are done individually. Everyone was staring at my brother. I think they thought he was my bodyguard because he didn't fill out anything and he refused to sit anywhere and was just standing close-by as if waiting for something to happen..lol!!

After we were all settled in we were greeted by a young man who seemed like he was the manager but it turns out he wasn't. He explained that the manager could not make it. He started the so called interview by showing us a PowerPoint about the goals and plans of the company and their products. It seemed like if they were trying to sell us a product more than an interview.

As he continued his talk I couldn't help but notice all the posters that were up. One in particular said "sell on summer, teach the next summer" and they even had a website www.vectorconnect.com for information regarding field training info. Another thing I noticed was that it seemed as though they had just moved there and they were not planning on staying long which makes you wonder if its a legitimate business if they're constantly moving.

Anyways, I stopped myself from thinking much of it and convinced myself to believe that maybe it seemed like a temporary placement for their business since they only offer employment during the summer.The interview host continued his talk about the history of the company and who founded Cutco Inc. and the origins of Vector. I felt like I was in a history class..lol!

He went on to address certain issues about the company product, market, sales, training, pay and the perks. I was excited but I couldn't help but feel awkward that they seemed to be selling us a job rather than offering us a job if that even makes sense. Something that I found interesting about what he explained was when he gave out the reasons why they targeted students rather than other individuals to work with Vector Marketing and he clearly pointed out that students are easier to train and they were more likely attracted to pay and experience. (DING DING DING DING RED FLAG!!) (OR NOT)

In my opinion here's how I interpret what he said " Students are easier to control and brainwash because they are so young and naive and they are broke so they are easily attracted to anything that involves making money and they will settle for any job even though they do not have much experience." Does that make sense? But anyhow that's just my opinion. I'm not trying to bash them but I just don't trust anyone or anything that seems to good to be true.

HOW DOES IT WORK? (according to them)

So you might still be asking "what is this job about besides selling knives and how does it work?" Well the way they he explained it like this

-market target consists of 30 to 60 yrs. old&married because they are more financially stable

-non door sales (appointment only), word of mouth

-convenient schedules, setup your own schedules

-UPS delivers product being sold, guaranteed paid regardless of outcome

-Training 3 days (non-paid) Weekly Meetings (also non paid)

-Daily Phone check-In

-Base Pay/Incentive

-Scholarship opportunities/Contest prizes

-They lend you $343 worth of product to show potential customers

THE CATCH/DEAL

-They choose what they feel is best for you in regards to getting paid. They decide whether they want to pay you base or incentive pay.

For example to calculate a base pay they use formula  (15 appointments) x $15(base pay) = $225

An incentive pay would be calculated in percentage of sales such as 1000(appointments) x (%10) =$100+125=$225 with the potential to grow the percentage of pay based on the more appointments you make. If you setup appointments over 1000 then your percentage would be 15% instead of 10% and so on.

Sounds good right? That's what I thought and then just before the meeting was over a young man who appeared to be around 12 yrs. old walked in with a big smile on his face wearing a very professional suit without even expressing any words to us. The host said "Oh By the way here comes the manager. He just came back from his meeting". 

I didn't know what to think at this point. Everything that was happening was surreal but at the same time it was expected because I had done some research before I even showed up to this interview. I still kept my mouth shut and decided I would just pretend to actually believe everything they were feeding to us.

 I was not surprised that many teenagers were actually believing everything they said. After all they even mentioned that in the beginning that they like to target students because they are easier to train but what some of them saw as a compliment, I saw as an insult even though I was not one of those teenagers. 

I should of taken my mom with me and have her apply for the job to see if they would feed her the same lies. I mean don't they know that anyone can be in college of any age but only the younger college students are the ones who actually fall for these job scams. The only reason I even showed up was because I was curious.

At the end of the meeting we were told that they would call us to see if we had been accepted to work with them. That same day they called me to say I had been accepted to work with them and to show up on a certain day and to dress professionally. I accepted the offer and said I would be there. 

IS VECTOR MARKETING A JOB SCAM?

When I arrived home I was thinking to myself "this can't be a legitimate job. but what if it is, I might be missing out?" and then I had another voice in my head saying "come on are really going to believe that?"

Seriously, its hard to believe that a 12 yr. old can be the manager of a so called successful company. I know its possible but I just didn't feel comfortable answering to a 12 yr. old. It would be like taking orders from my kids. (That's just me..lol) I mean a 12 yr. old is not even legally allowed to even enter contracts let alone run a business unless they are considered emancipated which is extremely rare!

Another issue I had was how expensive the knives would be and who would actually purchase these knives. Personally I am not going to sell a product I would not feel comfortable purchasing myself and I would never in my life buy a knife for $200 even if I could afford it.(I'm just not a knife person..lol)

Plus I don't have time or gas money to go to the non paid training meetings. A legitimate job offering that offers training is usually on the job and most of the time its paid. I decided not to show up to the meeting. Not because I was 100% sure it was a scam but I was 98% sure something wasn't right but I couldn't completely figure out what it was, I just knew it wasn't for me.


Like the saying goes "Time is money" and all that time that I'm wasting doing something that I'm not passionate about and provides no guaranty of security for my family, I could be spending it on looking for my real Dream Job. I'm sure its out there and it will eventually find its way to me but until then I will just continue this journey.

At the end of the day I'm just sharing my experience and opinions based on my interview but if you feel like this would be a good job for you and you feel very passionate about knives then by all means don't let me stop you!! (LOL) I'm not saying Vector Marketing is a scam or not because I didn't spend enough time trying to figure it out. This job just is not for me and I tried to follow my instinct and not waste anymore time than I needed. 


Do you have experiences with Vector Marketing that you would like to share? Did you attend a job interview and was your experience similar to mine? I'd love to know you thoughts or opinions regarding Vector Marketing.


This guy actually claims to have worked with Vector and he believes it is some sort of scam. What do you think?





Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I GOT A JOB INTERVIEW $15/HR IN THE RGV!!


I was browsing through some jobs when I came across Vector Marketing Company that offered students summer jobs at $15 an hour. Obviously it seemed too good to be true but I decided to fill out an application with them anyways. I mean I have nothing to lose right? 

I filled out a basic online application that didn't ask for much except my contact information, name, and a question of whether I liked working with people. I decided to enter my previous experience of working with customers in my other jobs

After I filled in the application, I got a message that read "you need to contact the office to setup an appointment for a job interview"  I decided to do some research about this company so I could better prepare for my job interview. I searched online and found several articles about Vector Marketing Company. I found out that Vector Marketing Company was a knife selling marketing company. 

Yes, I said that Right!! KNIFE SELLING marketing company. I thought to myself well this is interesting. It turns out that they sell knifes from CUTCO CUTLERY. Not surprising that I found most articles about Vector Marketing scams. Supposedly they target high school and college students that are too naive to know any better and make them believe that they can actually get paid $15 and hour with them but there is a catch. 

The next day in the morning I received a phone call by a girl who claimed to be Jennifer and she presented herself to be from Vector Marketing. She said she was calling to setup an interview appointment. I was already skeptic about this company so I asked lots of questions. 

Some of the questions I asked her were if I was going to be required to purchase anything and she said "no its a guaranteed employment opportunity but we only have until today so you have to come in today only". She did mention that it was a door to door sales job so I asked if I will get paid for each sale I make or per hour like it stated in the job offering. 

She proceeded to explain that the job was hourly based and I was guaranteed a job but only if I came in today. I decided to accept the interview invite. One thing I did notice about this lady that was strange was her voice was almost like if she was whispering. It was very low toned and not like her voice was like that but when you purposely lower your voice when you don't want anyone to hear what you are saying. 

I decided to keep my appointment anyways. What do I have to lose? I saw this as an investigative adventure..lol! I'm already aware that it could be to good to be true and there might be a catch but its interesting to find out what this is about. Besides whatever happens, I can always blog about them and expose the TRUTH..lol.

I will go to the interview to do some investigation but as soon as they ask me for any type of money or for me to sign anything, I'm out the door!!! Keep up with my blog and I'll keep you posted about how my job interview went. Wish me luck!!


Update: Want to know how my Job Interview went? Click here to read more.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

INNOCENT AS CAN BE


Trying brush it off like it don't bother me

Trying to make it seem like love just ain't for me

But deep down inside I know

I just wanna go back to the days when i was just a kid

Innocent as can be butterflies were all real to me

The fairytale life was part of my dreams

A naive young girl who just wanted to believe

That the world was mine

And true love was real

I was Afraid to be alone

Just wanting to feel complete

Fearful of the unknown

I settled for defeat

I gave my heart, my freedom, my life

All for a fantasy world filled with love

I couldn't accept that love wasn't for me

I felt my calling in life was to fall in love 

With prince charming and live happily

Little did I know that life is a mystery

As I look back and reminisce 

looking in the mirror at the windows of my soul

I see a different person

I wish i could go back and talk to the old me

I would let her know that life is not about living in a fantasy

Its about following your Dreams

Its ok to be alone 

Love is not for everybody

But God does have a plan

And that plan is to strengthen me

Even though I posses acceptance of the life God has chosen for me

I do admit that I still  go back to that young girl that haunts me

She is still a part of me

Its a good thing though cause one thing I admire about the old me

Was the ability to dream and imagine the unimaginable

Although the new me is more determined 

But usually only sees whats tangible

Throughout this revolutionary life changing process 

My only true friends have been God, my music and poetry

There's a place where I can express my thoughts, my feelings, 

And truly live out my dreams

Without being judged for not being part of the team

Where expressions, thoughts, and Love flows within streams

without even making physical contact

And where even passionate Anger flourishes from within 

Like A soaring light Beam

Ready for Attack